Tag: Depressed

How to deal with depression

This is the second part of Depression and Life Experiences.

If you miss the first part here is the link: http://joseylifeline.com/depression-and-life-experiences/

How to deal with your depression?

Depression is not something that quickly goes away.

What you need to realize is that this situation that you are going through is not unique to you, and you cannot let it dictate your life.

Let’s talk about you on the job:

– There are always options: if you really do not like your job start exploring your options. Life Coaches or Mentors are always a good way to get help when exploring career options.

– Forget what people say about you. You alone know what you are capable of . If you need to broaden your knowledge or improve your skills do so, but do not let anybody pull you down.

– You have a gift or service to provide and only you can do this.

– Ask for help. If your boss or supervisor says you need to improve then find out what is required and how they can help you.

– Remember on the job you are providing a service in exchange for payment (your salary), if you really like the job then start providing a good service. It is like being in business for yourself.

– We were all given the same amount of skills and talents; the difference is how we use them, so use your skills and talents wisely.

– Whatever you think of yourself is what you will get back, so take a check of your thoughts on the job – are these preventing people from engaging in good professional relationships with you? If you think you are not smart, more intelligent than anyone else, do not need anybody’s help etc. that is what you will get back.

– Do not wait for your boss/manager/supervisor to give you feedback go to them and discuss your performance and ways to improve.

– It is always better to be honest about your dealings, if you make a mistake admit it, learn from it and move on.

– If you have targets explore creative ways to increase your client base. Customers love when Sales Reps can help them achieve their business goals, so make an action plan and start exploring ways to help your customer. This will not only maintain that account but can also generate referrals.

Your other life experiences

– Dealing with death is always very depressing. No one wants to see a loved one or pet move on. The person who died may have been ill and in pain and we have to acknowledge that the pain has ended for them. Sometimes we do not know why they died, so we have to have faith that it was their time to leave this world. After all they may not even want us to be depressed. They may want us to continue with our lives. The best thing is to remember the good times that you had with them.

– There are many things that can cause you to fail when trying to achieve your goals. Here are a couple of reasons:

o What you are trying to achieve, is this your purpose? If this is not your true purpose you may struggle to achieve it, so find your true purpose. What do you like doing that brings a smile to your face or that you think about all the time?

o Are you grateful for the opportunities you have been given or are you complaining and grumbling, because you are not satisfied with what you have. It always helps to be grateful on a daily basis for all that you have.

o Are you using you skills and talents wisely? Skills and talents are for serving others. It is in service to others that you reap the benefits. Whether we have our own business or we work for someone we all are serving somebody.

o Are you committed and focus on your goals? Behavior never lies. Whatever efforts you put into your goals, that is exactly what you will get back. It does not make sense to say ‘You want to lose weight’ and you exercise whenever you feel, or you want a better life and you do the same thing the same way every day. In addition to commitment and focus to your goals you also need discipline.

– Relocating can be a real issue if it is not planned properly. If you have relocated it makes sense to get involved with groups – community/church/professional.

Whilst this would not provide you with the same comfort level at your previous location, it is a starting point to build a circle of friends quickly. Also whatever little rituals you had at home try to maintain this in your new location as much as possible. Although these rituals may appear insignificant they help you settle in your new location (e.g if you are accustomed to having breakfast at a certain time or you like to wash on a certain day then by all means do this).

– Issues with any type of relationships have always been very depressing. If it is not depressing for you, it may be for the other party or the children if there are any.

Some thoughts on relationships from my personal experiences and those of friends and relations whom I have interacted with:

o We all have a certain type of love for each other and that will always be there.

o For the deeper relationships (man/woman looking to settle down at some point) you cannot fall in and out love. If this is so, then it means that we really did not love that person to the extent of making a commitment. As someone person puts it – ‘you cannot be half pregnant’. When you say ‘I love you’ is this how you are feeling? Ten, twenty, thirty years from now would you still feel this way?

o Do you have fun together?

o Does this person respect you?

o Can you depend on this person?

o Do you see yourself in this person?

o Does this person love you?

o Can he or she look you in the eye and say ‘I love you’ without shifting their eyes?

o Do you have common goals?

o Do you love yourself? You cannot give something that you do not have.

o If you continually blame yourself for all kinds of things – I do stupid things, I am not smart enough, I am not worthy, I am not good looking or attractive enough etc. you are just putting yourself down. You do not need to have an air about you, but you need to appreciate yourself. You are worthy. You are great. You have skills and talents. The only person who know who you are is you so stand up and feel good about yourself.

o You cannot force or coerce people to love you.

o A relationship is like a house or a car if you do not maintain it, it would fall apart so you must be prepared to maintain the relationship once you get into it.

o Relationships take a lot of compromising. If you are not willing to compromise then you may have a few challenges.

o If you truly love someone you would not hurt them, and sometimes because your love is so deep, and they do not feel the same way, it may be better to let them go free.

o Sometimes you are so depressed over a relationship and the other party is enjoying life, not in the bit concerned about you. Then what are you doing to yourself? Your best option is to snap out of it and get your life back.

– If you find yourself becoming depressed because of illness you should seek medical help. The more you worry about your sickness, the more sick you will feel. It is so difficult not to worry. It has been said that most of our sickness are brought on by us – specifically our thoughts.

* If you think you are sick you will be sick. Lots of persons have been healed by changing the way they think about themselves.

* Find someone who you can trust to talk with about how you are feeling.

* Others have changed their diet and yet others have sourced alternative health care.

* Think of this – it is said we were made in the likeness of our creator. If this is so then we were not born to be sick.

* Start seeing your body being filled with love, light and life, and be thankful on a daily basis that you have a healthy body.

* Finally explore taking up a hobby . Find things that make you laugh and have fun.

Remember you alone know you, so trust yourself to snap out of being depressed, knowing that all things will work out for the best.

The above are my personal suggestions; they are in no way replacements for your medication. If you are on medication always check with your Doctor .

In the final article we will talk about some foods that may help with your depression.


Depression and life experiences

Feeling depressed lately?

At any one time or other we all have had some feeling of depression.

This feeling that things are not going the way we want it to be and there is nothing we can do about it. We feel boxed in, as if there is no desire to do anything.

The question really is: Do our life experiences depress us or do we allow our life experiences to depress us?

When we are depressed we allow the issue/s to take control of our thoughts and desires. This is all we think about.

This is the why me phase, I should have known better, I cannot get out of this, I do not deserve this, I am not good enough. All the negativity that we can call up about ourselves now surface. We fail to recognize that we have the power within to turn this around.

Think about this for a minute: while you are beating up yourself and filling your mind with all kinds of negativity, the person or persons who may be involved with the issue that is affecting you is/are quite happy, having a good time, enjoying life.

So why are you beating up yourself?

There have been much research into what causes people to get depressed but scientists have not been able to pin point exactly what happens to the brain.

One thing for sure is that we are affected by life experiences and this can make a huge impact on our lives.

In this three part article I will look at the impact of life experiences and depression. I will deal specifically with experiences on the job and other life experiences that make up our personal lives. I will talk about some symptoms, provide some suggestions on what you can do and also some foods that may help with your depression.

On the job life experiences

Let’s look at some life experiences on the job that can cause us to be depressed:

– We are depressed because the boss/manager/supervisor tells us our performance is not where it should be. They may have to re-assign us, downgrade the position or even server the relationship.

– We have been overlooked for a promotion and the feedback is – you do not have the chutzpah for the position. Or as someone puts it ‘ that fire in the belly to do the job is just not there’.

– You do not like your job and you crawl out of bed every day to go there and you can’t wait to get back home, although you do not even have anything else to do at home.

– You cannot stand your boss. It is as if he is always breathing down your neck and the more this happens the more mistakes you make.

– You have not been achieving your targets and this has reduced your commissions drastically. As a result the bills are piling up.

– You made a huge mistake and do not know how to tell the boss.

– The people you work with do not like you.

Other life experiences

There are other life experiences that can also cause us to be depressed:

– The death of a very close friend or family member or even a pet.

– Failure when attempting to achieve certain life goals.

– Relocation.

– Divorce.

– Relationship break ups.

– Sickness.

Some symptoms of depression.

Sometimes we do not even realize we are depressed from these life experiences until the symptoms of depression start to reveal themselves:

– At home you are now more difficult to be with.

– You complain about everything.

– You do not communicate – you have a lot of – ‘I need to be by myself or leave me alone’.

– You tend to overeat often – normally not healthy foods .

– You party hard, drink more, sometimes to the point of getting intoxicated.

– You exercise more – you take long runs or walks until it hurts.

– You take long drives, going nowhere in particular.

– You no longer take care of yourself – hair, face and nails etc. are unkempt.

– You sit and stare for hours.

– You are very restless – you cannot sleep.

– You over sleep often.

– You take on more work or task to keep busy.

– You blame yourself and cannot forgive yourself.

We all do these but if you realize that your actions are outside of what you would normally do, then it is time to stop and reflect on what is happening. If you believe you need professional help, then do that now.

In my next blog I will talk about some ways to deal with your depression.


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