Tag: difficult

What to do when everything else fails?

We all have problems some more than others. How do we deal with our problems?
Some people internalize their problems and these manifest into various illnesses – headaches, digestive problems, cancer and arthritis to name a few.

Others take their problems out on whoever they can – at home they quarrel, fight, at work they find fault in everything, they are very bitter and complain about everything and everybody.

On the job it affects your performance – you make mistakes, you miss deadlines and if you are a supervisor or manager you jeopardize your relationship with your team.

I thought that I would share the following excerpt taken from the Bible in One Year by Nickel Gumbel:

When all else fails – Keep praising God in spite of every difficulty

2 Corinthians 1:1-11
Are you experiencing trouble in your life? Have you been hurt, disappointed or mistreated in some way? Have you suffered loss or bereavement? Are you under great pressure? Are you facing great temptations or difficult personal relationships?

Paul was the founding pastor of the Corinthian church. In this, his most personal letter, he reveals the heart of a leader. He reveals his feelings as a man of flesh and blood who knows what it is to go through trouble (v.4), sufferings (vv.5–8), distress (v.6), hardship (v.8), pressure (v.8) – the word Paul used means to be pushed down under great weight.

He had been in despair (v.8), he had felt like he had ‘been sent to death row’ (v.9, MSG), he had faced ‘deadly peril’ (v.10). As well as physical persecution, he had faced criticism, ridicule, sickness, depression, bereavement, injustice, disappointments, temptations and difficult personal relationships.

Sir Winston Churchill said, ‘The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; the optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.’ By this definition Paul was definitely an optimist!

He starts the letter with praise – not for the problems but for the positive benefits that have come through them. What are these benefits? How can you and I see the benefits in every difficulty?

You will be comforted
‘The God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles’ (vv.3–4). The word for comfort means to encourage, cheer, come alongside. He is the ‘Father of compassion’ (v.3). He is not aloof from suffering. He comes alongside us and suffers with us.

You will be a help to others
If you are in a time of suffering right now it may not seem much comfort – but one day you will bring great comfort to other people. ‘He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us’ (v.4, MSG). Those who have faced difficulty in life make the most effective ministers.

You will be changed
Hardship ‘produces in you patient endurance’ (v.6). Like gold refined by fire or a vine pruned to produce more fruit, difficulties lead to patience, endurance, steadfastness and perseverance. They lead to character transformation.

You will not be alone
Paul writes ‘Just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort’ (v.7). The word he uses for ‘share’ comes from the Greek word koinonia which is the word used to describe the closest possible relationship. As we are going through difficulties together we should experience an extraordinary closeness of relationship as we comfort and encourage one another, ‘Your hard times are also our hard times’ (v.7, MSG).

You will learn to trust God
When things go well it is easy to become self-reliant. But when everything goes wrong and we reach the end of our tether, we are forced to trust God. As Paul puts it, ‘Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally’ (v.9, MSG).

As Oswald Chambers wrote, ‘God expects His children to be so confident in Him that in any crisis they are the ones who are reliable.’

You will be rescued
Paul writes, ‘He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us’ (v.10). As we look back and see that God has delivered us in the past, we can be confident he will deliver us in the future.

Your prayers will help others
Prayer is powerful. God really does answer prayer. One of the best ways we can help other people is by praying for them ‘As you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favour granted us in answer to the prayers of many’ (v.11). When your prayers are answered God will be glorified.

Lord, thank you that there is a reason that you allow us to go through trials and troubles. Help us to see the benefits in every difficulty. May we experience your comfort and learn to rely not on ourselves but on you. Lord, as I look to the months ahead, I cry out to you for help …

As a supervisor or manager I urge you to email me for a free Life Coach session.

Most successful people have coaches why shouldn’t you?


How to deal with difficult people on the job

Dealing with difficult people on the job can drain the energy from any supervisor or manager.
Sometimes one wonders are these people just being difficult or is this the only behaviour they know.
On the other hand some people on the job purposefully make your job miserable.

I can think of so many examples, but here are just three:
– The person who always does the opposite after you sit, discuss and agree on a specific plan of action for a project,handling an account or handling a particular issue.
– The person who does not agree with their appraisal, says nothing when discussing the appraisal with them, and signs disagree with a lengthy addendum.
– The person who is disgruntled with something and refuses to see your point of view whenever you get into a discussion.

With so many goals to achieve and daily deadlines to meet how do you handle these people and keep your sanity at the end of the day?

I have learnt that:

– you must know yourself,
– have faith in yourself,
– know which battle to choose,
– be well knowledgeable about your functions and anything relating to it,
– always be factual,
– there is no harm in apologizing when you are wrong,
– always show your appreciation for work well done.

Below is an article I found with some other great tips:

http://www.aboutleaders.com//bid/153739/excelling-with-difficult-employees?source=Blog_Email_[Excelling%20with%20Diffi]”>

Enjoy and feel free to share your experiences.


Best way to Plan

God’s Purposes – taken from The Bible In One Year by Nicky Gumble

Back in 1981 Pippa and I felt that God was calling us to full-time ministry in the Church of England and for me to become an ordained minister.  We also felt that we should do our training in Durham starting in September 1982.  I was on the top of the waiting list for the theological college at Durham University.  I was told it was almost certain someone would drop out and I was virtually guaranteed to get a place.  Based on this I announced our plans widely, including telling the set of chambers, where I was practising as a barrister, that I was leaving.

Just before I was due to start we received news that, exceptionally, no one had dropped out that year and it would not be possible for us to go.  We tried everything to persuade them to change their minds.  We desperately tried to find another theological college that would accept us.  We prayed and pushed as hard as we could but to no avail.  The door was firmly shut.

The following year was extremely difficult.  I was given very little work by my chambers as they knew I was leaving and so had no incentive to build my career.  It was a huge disappointment and mystifying at the time.

In the end, we went to Oxford to study the following year and eventually started a curacy at HTB in 1986.  With hindsight, had we got the place at Durham, the timing would have meant that a curacy at HTB would have been out of the question and we would not be doing what we are doing today.  I am so thankful to God that he blocked our plans and that what we now believe were his purposes prevailed.

There are times when life is not easy.  It is difficult to work out what God is doing in terms of our work, family, temptation, finances, disappointments, bereavement or opposition.  How do we cope in these situations?

1.  God’s purposes and our plans

Proverbs 16:8-17

It is right to plan.  However, we need to do it with the necessary humility, recognising that our plans will only succeed ‘if it is the Lord’s will’ (see James 4:13–15).  The writer of Proverbs says, ‘In your heart you may plan your course, but the Lord determines your steps’ (Proverbs 16:9).

His purposes are ‘good, pleasing and perfect’ (Romans 12:2).  Sometimes we align our plans with God’s purposes, but from time to time – certainly in my experience – God thankfully overrules our plans.  We should always bear in mind that we may have got it wrong and ultimately it is the Lord who determines our steps.

God often works out his purposes through good leadership.  Good leaders motivate others (Proverbs 16:10).  They do not base their decisions simply on what is popular: ‘Sound leadership has a moral foundation’ (v.12b, MSG).  They cultivate an environment of candour: ‘Good leaders cultivate honest speech; they love advisers who tell them the truth’ (v.13, MSG).  They ‘invigorate lives; they’re like spring rain and sunshine’ (v.15, MSG).

Thank you, Lord, that although we make plans in our hearts ultimately it is your purpose that prevails.  In making our plans may we always say, at least in our hearts, ‘If it is the Lord’s will’.

 

 


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